SEVEN STEPS TO HELP YOU HEAL A HURT BY FORGIVING.  

Before  you study this, notice Mat 6:14-15;18:21-35.  It is essential  that we forgive,
or we will be destroyed by this spiritual cancer.  

1)  ACKNOWLEDGE the anger, and identify its source.  Eph 4:26 

2)  DEAL WITH IT.  We can suppress it until we explode, or we can  redirect
the  anger  so it will not eat us up.  Restrain the blow up ...  apply  the
energy to a positive effort of removing it.  Mark 11:25

3)  VERIFY your hurt.  If it is real, what is its significance?  Is it more
important than a relationship?  1 Cor 13:7

4)   PUT IT IN CONTEXT.  Try to ask why the offender did it to  you.   What
was  that person's need?  Try to understand the action  without  justifying it.
Acknowledge the person's value so that you criticize the  action,  not the
worth of the person.  Rom 3:23  since all have sinned and fall short
of the glory of God;


5)  ASSIGN ANOTHER JUDGE.  Give it to God;  then become the defense
attorney. Luke 23:34  Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them; for they
do not know what they are doing."


6)  CONFIRM YOUR HEALING.  Questions to answer include the following:
    Does it still hurt?
    Do you see good in the offender?
    Do you want to serve the person?  John 13:3  Jesus, knowing that the
Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God
 and was going to God,
John 13:4  got up from the table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel
around himself.
John 13:5  Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the
disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him.

    Are you ready for - do you want - reconclliation?
    Can you pray for the person?  1 John 5:16  

7)  AFFIRM THAT YOU ARE AVAILABLE FOR RECONCILLIATION.  Matt 18:15

The scriptures:
Mat 6:14  For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you;
Mat 6:15  but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your
trespasses.
Mat 18:21  Then Peter came and said to him, "Lord, if another member of the
church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?"
Mat 18:22  Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven
times.
Col 3:13  Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another,
forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Mark 11:25  "Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against
anyone; so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses."


Other related verses:  Rom 5:6-8
(1 Cor 11:1 NRSV)  Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

(1 Cor 11:2 NRSV)  I commend you because you remember me in everything and 
maintain the traditions just as I handed them on to you.

(1 Cor 11:3 NRSV)  But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every 
man, and the husband is the head of his wife, and God is the head of Christ.

(Eph 5:1 NRSV)  Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children,

(Eph 5:2 NRSV)  and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, 
a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

(Eph 5:3 NRSV)  But fornication and impurity of any kind, or greed, must not 
even be mentioned among you, as is proper among saints.